Discovering Life

       My life in the last few weeks has been turned upside down, twisted, and has crossed many interesting intersections and turns. Sometimes I had felt like a failure once realizing a mistake I had made. Once I found out the consequences of that mistake, I didn't know what to do, but sought help and found a bearable path. Other times I felt something new starting in my life. New people, a new environment, and new places that I was extremely unsure yet oddly excited about. Finally, I experienced how quickly a life can change or I guess be taken. I went through an event resulting in my car being totaled.

       I don't want to sit here and discuss those things, as those occurrences are not the important thing I would like to discuss.

       I have came to the conclusion that the events that occur in your life, those small, big, bad, good, weird, awkward, or whatever they may be, may help in defining who we are, but do not decide who we are. The events we live through may define us in the way that we may be seen as the person in others eyes who does that thing, experienced that thing, been labeled as the person who does that, or did that.
       Every individual is labeled and "defined" by society as the event they have and will live through. However that may always be true, how you define yourself, may have nothing to do with said events. If I did look at myself that way, I would be someone with a minimal routine living life ordinarily.In reality, I see myself as an individual who does everything in their power to live their life to the fullest. I am apart of many groups, and may have a not so exciting sounding routine, but I make sure to make every day a good one. A day that is worth remembering.

       I recently have been dealing with another predicament. Why do we focus so much of our energy and time on how others may view us. Personally, I try really hard to not care, but I easily find myself sitting in the most comfiest comfort zone you could ever imagine.

Earlier I mentioned new people. Last night I went to a bonfire with those people. Keep in mind that none of these individuals know who I really am, what I do, my ambitions or goals, they just know me from the last 3 time they have met me. I sat there trying to talk and laugh, but spent a lot of the time watching the fire.

      
It makes me wonder...I spent tonight wanting to dance and sing and laugh but sat their silently instead. Is a life worth living if it is spent like that? Hiding in the comfort zone, relaxing and sipping on some tea, or taking that one step, having a bit of coffee, and increasing the potential of having the best night of your life?

       
       I am not going to tell you that you have to get out of your comfort zone, I am not going to tell you that it is easy, and I am not going to tell you that if you did, your life would improve. I am an individual who has only experienced being their true self in front of her best friends, and that is all. I do know, that it definitely is not easy, and that it will take practice and lots of time. I will also tell you that maybe, just maybe, you will be happier taking that step, and giving up your vulnerability to whoever may be there. Sadly, I cannot tell you how, and the best ways to do this as I haven't done them myself. However, I am going to try, and I will get back to you on that.

       I would finally like to say that those crazy, wonderful, dull, stupid, and weird moments may seem to have an affect on your life, but they don't really need to. Personally, I have realized that it is the people in your life, and those who are involved in those events that really make a difference.

       So next time you are feeling left out, or focused on what someone will think of you, I want you to at least do this...think to yourself. Think hard enough to at least somewhat realize how much that one persons thinks of you, is going to affect your life in the long run. Imagine being in a room and you see an individual give you a weird look. You begin to worry about what may be wrong with you, why they gave you that look, what negative things they may be thinking of you. Are you going to let that one persons thoughts, that may not actually mean anything in the slightest, change who you are, and what you are going to accomplish within your life time? 

No. 
Don't let it. 


I leave you with these quotes that I enjoy:


"Be who you are and say what you feel because, those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

"Just do your thing and don't worry about other people watching and judging you, because they're probably busy worrying about the same."

"You may define your own meaning of life."

Happy March!

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