There are many topics I feel strongly about, and this, is at the top of my list.
That is a quote that I personally have said.
I posted this on my tumblr yesterday.
No one realizes my determination for life. That all of my wishes (like wanting to study abroad in England for a year) will remain wishes.
I will do anything in my power to make them happen. No one can make them reality except for me. So for those who doubt me, one day, you will look at me, and see all that I have become, all that I have done, and wish you were wise enough to have done the same.
I am honestly tired of seeing and hearing people say "I wish I could do that" or "I wish I was like that" or even "Why am I not like that?" No more wishing, and no from why not me's. If you want to act a certain way, accomplish a certain goal, or really anything. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING standing in your way.
But...sometimes it is not that easy.
People are going to judge you. They will laugh, make fun, and judge you. There is nothing you can ever do to stop that from happening. No matter who you are, and where you go, you will run into it. For me, that is usually my excuse for not going out and doing things I want to.
For example... At school, I am a quite person in my classes. I don't shout out answers, volunteer, or really talk unless I have a friends sitting by me. My goal every year is to talk more, and be myself in front of everyone. But...that hard. It is hard to be yourself in from of everyone. Why? Because we feel that we will be judged, and not accepted. That fear will live with us forever. No matter what, it won't leave our side. The only way we can attempt to escape its prison is by trying. Simply trying. I WILL try to be myself in a class. I am going to pick my English class. I am specifically picking this class because I don't know, or talk to anyone in there. I sit there quietly and mess around on my phone the whole time. I have around 3 months, then my high school career is over. The majority of the senior class has no idea of what I am really like. So, now is my chance to take a stand, and show them that I am not just that shy girl.
Yeah I know, you may be thinking "HAH! I could never, ever, ever, ever even come close to doing that myself." Well...I am telling you that you are right. You can't. It is never going to happen. Now you are probably shocked that I just agreed with you huh? Okay, let me tell you a little something about your brain. If you tell yourself that you can't, then your mind will believe you, and you indeed will fail. Its like if you are about to take a test, and you tell yourself you are going to fail, you most likely will. Train your brain. Tell yourself I can, I will pass, I will not fail, and you won't. I am NOT saying its easy. I am NOT saying you won't feel embarrassed or nervous, or scared. I am saying that you will feel so accomplished and proud if stand up and make things happen.
Determination. Its something we all have. Some are very determined, and others not so much. I am a determined person. For example, I have always had the dream to study abroad. recently, I have been set on wanting to study abroad in England for 9 months (one school year). When I am telling someone about my plans to do so, I have stopped saying "I want to study abroad" and have been saying "I will study abroad" instead. I am telling you now, it is GOING to happen. Just wait and see.
Now, there are so many things you can do to improve your determination, get over the scariness of being judged, and so on. Let me tell you about a couple things I am wanting to do over the next few months, and even for the rest of my life. *Correction: I said wanting, I meant to say that these are some things I am going to do.
- Talk to people I don't know
My goal with this is to find my adventurous side. I have always wanted to be adventurous and step out of my comfort zone. Let me explain exactly what I am going to be doing. (I will do my best to document my experiences some how - maybe video?) I will walk up to someone who is sitting by themselves (maybe at a coffee shop, or even someone I am standing next to while in line at the grocery store). I will introduce myself, and start talking to them. If they act like they want me to go away, I will wish them a good rest of their day, and let them be. If they continue to talk with me, then I may have just made a new friend. This can be as simple as saying "how is your day going?" to the workers at a coffee shop. Its simple, but you have to make it meaningful. When you ask how they are, be sincere, actually want to know truly how their day has been.
2. Meet 20 new seniors at my high school
My goal here is to meet more of the people I attend school with. In about 3 months, I will most likely never see most of them again. Right now, I will only really remember a select few. So, why not, meet at least 20 new people to be on speaking terms with. Be able to have a conversation with them. I mean, you never know what amazing stuff the person sitting next to you in class does. Or how funny they are. 20 people doesn't seem like much in 3 months, but it will be quite difficult.
3. Go places by myself
This may seem silly, but I want to go some places by myself. Usually when I go shopping, I have a friend with me. Or if I want to do something new, I have a friend with me. Now, I am going to do those things by myself for a change. Not always of course, just at least once. I have been to many things by myself though. Recently I attended the Idaho Media Professionals monthly mixer...by myself. Keep in mind the members are film producers, writers, marketers, directors, actors, artists, ect. Crazy am I right? Well, all by myself I went and talked to these people for two hours. Doing things like that can give you amazing opportunities for yourself and others. I am now able to help with films, and even am helping a friend out with her acting career. Don't get me wrong, It was terrifying to be able to have the nerve to walk into the restaurant and meet them. I sat in my car for 15 minutes before I had the courage to go in.
This post was a little all over the place, but here is my main point of it all. Do what you want, be who you want, and accomplish what you want. The only thing holding you back is fear, and you can escape it. All you have to be able to do is believe in yourself. Let me know If you ever want advice, or even to just tell me your story of accomplishing something.
Love, Ashley Marie
